- What You Need to Know About HIV
- HIV Treatment
- Handling the Side Effects of HIV Meds
- Talking about HIV
- HIV Meds and Heart Health
- HIV Meds and Heartburn
- HIV Meds and Lipids
- Questions to Ask Your Doctor
- Tips to Work With Your Healthcare Team
Talking About HIV
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Things to Think About ] [
Special Considerations ] [
Getting the Support You Need ]
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Because You Will Not Give In ] [
Sources ]
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There are many reasons why you might want to share your HIV-positive status with others. Family and friends can surround you with the love and support you need to cope with the many physical and emotional changes in your life. Telling others might help you gain valuable advice and information. Perhaps most of all, telling others means you’re not alone and gives those you care about a greater opportunity to be there for you when you need them most.
Remember, you control the decision to discuss your disease, but you can’t control how people react to your news. Take your time in deciding who you’re going to tell and how you will approach them.
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- Know why you want to tell someone. What do you want or need from them?
- Anticipate their reaction. What’s the best you can hope for? Or the worst? What’s the risk?
- Prepare yourself. Inform yourself about HIV and be ready to answer questions—or know where you can refer people for consistent and reliable answers to their questions.
- Get support. Talk things over with someone you trust and rehearse ahead of time.
- Make a plan. Decide where and when you want to talk. Set aside plenty of time and know how you will approach the subject.
- Accept the reaction. You can’t control it and you’re not responsible for it.
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There are certain people you might want to tell about your HIV status. Since every relationship is different, every experience and reaction will be, too. Here are some things to think about when talking with the following:
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People you may have exposed to HIV before you knew about your status: It isn’t easy disclosing your status to sexual partners or people you’ve shared needles with, but it’s extremely important.* They need to know so they can be tested and get the healthcare they need if they test positive. If you wish to remain anonymous, your local Department of Health can tell people you might have exposed without using your name. If you have a primary partner, be prepared for this news to bring up issues that will require adjustment and patience from both of you. If you are concerned about your safety (if, for example, there is a history of violence in your relationship), you may be able to seek assistance from an HIV test site counselor or a case manager at an AIDS Service Organization.
*If you are sexually active, you should know that it is important to tell your sexual partner or partners before having sex so you, and they, can make healthy decisions about safer sex. You should also know that many states in the US have passed laws making it a crime that carries both a fine and prison sentence if you don't tell a sexual partner(s) you are HIV-positive before having sex.
Family members: The decision to tell your partner or spouse, parents, siblings, children and other family members about your HIV infection may be a difficult one. Fears you may have can be overwhelming, but keeping such an important secret can be equally devastating. Be prepared to face difficult questions you might not want to answer and handle a wide range of emotional reactions. Your family may say and do things you aren’t ready to accept, or they may offer the unconditional love, support and acceptance you need in your fight against HIV.
You have the right to a healthy, nonabusive relationship—and your right to seek help if you experience behavior or treatment that you feel is abusive. Not all domestic violence resources are knowledgeable about the role of HIV in relationships or are sensitive to the specific needs of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered relationships. You may need to seek help from these resources—so know that you have a right to receive respectful and sensitive care regardless of your HIV status or sexual orientation.
Your Employers: According to the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), your employer cannot legally discriminate against you because of your HIV status, as long as you can perform the essential functions of your job. When you apply for a new job, employers are not allowed to ask about your health or disabilities.
More information about the ADA and how it relates to HIV is available at http://www.aidsmeds.com/lessons/Disclosure8.htm , www.thebody.com/pos_work/ada.html or www.usdoj.gov/crt/ada/adahom1.htm. You can also call the national ADA Information Line to talk with an expert at 1-800-514-0301 (voice) or 1-800- 514-0383 (TTY for the deaf and hearing impaired). ADA specialists are available Monday through Friday from 9:30 am until 5:30 pm (eastern time) except on Thursday when the hours are 12:30 pm until 5:30 pm.
All workplaces should be trained to respond to any workplace emergency involving blood, using Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) guidelines for handling blood-borne pathogens. In general, your coworkers are not at risk of HIV infection (as long as no one is having unprotected sex or sharing used needles on or off the job!). You can request workplace training about blood-borne pathogens if you are concerned that your coworkers are not familiar with these standard procedures. For more information, please visit www.osha.gov/SLTC/bloodbornepathogens/index.html , where you will find fact sheets related to workplace issues.
If you have been on disability because of HIV but are considering returning to work because your treatment has improved your health, your local AIDS Service Organization may be able to help you revise your resume and give you other important advice about handling job interviews and other concerns you may have.
Social Acquaintances: Dating presents its own unique challenges for people living with HIV. Fear of rejection keeps many people from talking about their status openly. Every situation is different. If you’re in a relationship, there are many reasons to discuss your status with your partner. Emotional intimacy, trust and mutual respect depend upon honesty. Most important is the need to protect your partner’s physical health. If you’re not going to be in a situation where HIV could be transmitted, there’s no need to tell people and that choice is yours. But it is important—and may be legally required in your state—to tell any potential sexual partner or partners about your HIV status. Many states in the US have passed laws making it a crime that carries both a fine and prison sentence if you don't tell a sexual partner(s) you are HIV-positive before having sex.
Part of maintaining your positive health is making all kinds of healthier choices—for yourself and your partner(s). Disclosing your HIV status before having sex gives you and your partner the vital choice to make decisions about personal risk, safer sex and the well-being of your bodies and your relationships.
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If you need help telling others that you’re living with HIV, you can get help from the counselors at the HIV testing sites, a local support group, a mental healthcare provider, a trusted religious support person or leader and/or an HIV case manager from an AIDS Service Organization.
People who feel comfortable with and are open about their HIV-positive status may experience less depression and other mental health problems. Given the link between stress, depression and anxiety and physical health, taking care of your mental health can be an important part of your overall health and response to treatment. Remember that HIV infection is a health issue, and you have the right to be treated with respect, sensitivity and care.
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The information provided here is based on information found at the following Web sites:
AIDSMeds.com www.aidsmeds.com
New Mexico AIDS InfoNet www.aidsinfonet.org
AEGIS www.aegis.com
The Body www.thebody.com
Occupational Safety and Health Administration
www.usdoj.gov/crt/ada/adahom1.htm
For additional information, please visit the resources section of this Web site.
This information does not include everything you may need to know about HIV and does not take the place of talking with your healthcare provider.
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